it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
