There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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