I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize