Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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