I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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