Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
