fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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