the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
