It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
