Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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