Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
