Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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