She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she told me i tasted like america
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
