cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
