She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
