You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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