You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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