Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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