you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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