how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
