Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
