Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
