Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
