i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize