You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
