Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
