Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
