so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Is it because I queefed?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
