He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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