I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
