it wasn't lemon gatorade
Please, let me fuck your mom
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
