Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
only you would photoshop your dick
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
