i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
