careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
