You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
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