She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
