Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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