youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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