i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
