You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
