i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
farters have to be the big spoon...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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