glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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