1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
420 ftw
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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