Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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