PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
