I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
