Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The adults are the big ones right?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
