The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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