Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
