You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
