you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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