By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
