my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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