Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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