we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
