Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
