New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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